At some point in life, you must have had a thought of “I hate myself”, and it is not only you but millions of others possess the same thought.
The problem of low-self-esteem, self-hate, lack of motivation , not feeling anything at all [emotional numbness] is increasing rapidly and only a few of them are able to tackle it.
Yes, it is not easy but there is always a ray of hope that can sparkle up your life.
The thought of hating own self doesn’t come suddenly but develops over time due to some bad events that leave you in a crisis.
If you have managed to search the reason “why do I hate myself”, then you can also get rid of these thoughts.
You just have to calm down, and keep breathing while you read along the article to find out the solutions regarding how to not hate yourself? What to do when you hate yourself? Why Am I such A loser?
Before we even begin throwing the solutions at you, lets us understand the problem. You may or may not relate to the problem, because not everyone has the same way of thinking. But I suggest you to continue reading as this article may help you in one or more ways.
I think I hate myself
“I think I hate myself”, a person starts developing these thoughts due to various insecurities. A failed relationship where you have tried to be the best partner still things didn’t work out between you and your partner or maybe because of low grades in academics that made you think that you don’t have the qualities of a good student.
A person starts hating himself when he or she stops caring about how they look, doesn’t care about their health, bends towards bad habits of drinking and smoking and more.
Although these are not the only signs of a person who hates himself, there can be a lot of reasons and some reasons are very common that you may relate to yourself.
Why Do I hate myself?
There can be dozens of reasons for your question “Why do I hate myself?” But Maybe it is that one incident that happened with you at your home, school, college, workplace, or with your friends or love-partner that turned your world upside down and you started developing hatred for your own self.
Eventually, the situation gets critical and can cause depression or can even become a cause for suicidal thoughts.
But every problem has a solution, and with the time you can either get rid of these thoughts of hating yourself or stick to them, it is always your choice to stand up for a change. But before, taking any actions, you should search for the reasons for hating yourself.
Some of the common reasons may include bad and toxic relationships, family issues, physical appearance, low grades in academics, lack of friends, physical disabilities and much more.
I hate myself, What Do I Do?
You should pat your back for at least searching for a solution.
A lot of people don’t do any effort to get out of this cycle of self-hate and low self-esteem. But if you are tired of hating yourself and looking forward to changing yourself, you are doing great.
There are many possible ways to stop hating yourself.
One can always visit a psychiatrist and ask for help or if you can’t afford to visit a psychiatrist, reach out to an elder whom you can trust, no matter if it is your English teacher, a senior in high school or your grandparents.
I know it is really hard to talk to parents about this critical situation but if you have a strong bond with any of your parents, talk to them.
Let us now have a look at some of the most common reasons behind “I hate myself.”
Some Common Reasons for Self-hate
There can be hundreds of reasons why a person hates himself. We have listed down some of the common reasons that lead you to the thought of hating yourself. You may or may not related to these reasons.
- Failed Relationship
One of the very common reasons for “I hate myself.” Your past relationship which failed to continue may still force you to question “Why can’t I be happy,” on the flip side your partner has already moved on and is busy loving someone else.
- Toxic Friend(s)
The term toxic friends are for those fake friends who try to belittle you or laugh at your inabilities. These types of people are not your friends and can affect your mental health a lot and you may start thinking that no one cares about me.
- Family problems
“I hated myself since Childhood because my parents never loved me.” There are millions of children who suffer from self-loathing due to family problems and they start hating their families
If you are one of those kids who grew up watching your mom and dad fight, you might have started hating yourself for not getting the love your friends had been receiving as a kid.
I know it hurts a lot when you can’t share the stories of your school days with your mom and dad and you don’t even have a sibling to talk to.
The feeling of self-hate can also develop when you are getting abused by your own parents.
This is a kind of worse situation and in this case, you should reach out to the local police station as soon as possible.
They will help you out to get in touch with an NGO to take further action.
- Academic Failures
“I hate myself so much, I cannot even score above average”, “I couldn’t even clear the semester with good grades, I feel like a loser.”
Do you ever ask the same questions to yourself? More than 20 per cent of teens who go to school develop the feeling of self-loathing due to their low grades and lack of coping up with their classmates.
If you have failed or scored low grades in your recent tests, you can count it as a reason for self-hate.
This is a very common issue and a lot of teenagers develop the feeling of self-hate when they fail to score more than what their parents expected.
- Being Bullied
That one notorious kid in every classroom who acts like a boss and belittle everyone.
Yes, these types of people are bully and not only in school or college, but a bully can also exist everywhere, maybe near your society, playground, dance class, or the swimming classes.
If you have ever been or are being bullied by someone, it can affect your mental health very badly.
Not only mental health, but it can also gradually decrease your self-confidence and you may start isolating yourself.
- Regretting because of the Past
Another reason why a persona starts to hate himself can be due to a bad experience in the past or because of a mistake that he or she made in the past.
It may be because you were unfaithful with your partner, bullied someone who was weaker than you or stole money from your Dad’s wallet. Maybe you still regret doing these things in the past or something worse than this.
Symptoms of Self-hate
When a person develops the feeling of self-hate and starts thinking that, “I am a failure”, “No one cares about me”, “I hate myself, I wanna die”, the situation becomes a lot more critical and the person should check out for the symptoms of self-hate.
- Self-Destructive Behavior
Have you recently started developing a bad habit like smoking, vaping, drinking or eating a lot of junk food?
Well, a lot of people do it for fun or to look cool but there are very few people who start drinking and smoking due to stress, to get temporary relief from pain or whatnot.
If you have recently started growing on any of these bad habits, just sit back and think about what is wrong?
Have you started taking everything lightly? Are you tired of everything? Do you feel lethargic?
- You end up chasing the wrong person
Sometimes, when we are obsessed with someone, we tend to ignore their bad behaviour towards us. Do you have only one friend in the school and he or she doesn’t treat you in the right way?
Does your partner treat you poorly and ignores you most of the time? If this is the case, you are chasing the wrong person.
This can badly affect the way you think about yourself; you may start hating your own self. You may develop the thought that “No one cares about me”, even when you have someone who does.
- Scared of taking new decisions
You may think that how can this be a reason for self-hate but a lot of people who are going through this may even get anxious before deciding what to wear for the prom party. “I don’t know what to wear at the prom party. I am lean and my face is pale, I hate my personality.” If you ever had the same thought, well you are actually hating on yourself.
Isolation in a simple explanation means pushing away everyone whether it is your friends, family or your partner and not attending any events, parties and interacting over a phone call or texts. A person who is isolating may also reject invitations or get-togethers.
Drugs and alcohol
Drugs and alcohol may look like the best way to escape low self-esteem and self-hatred. You may feel like you are on the top of the world when you are on drugs and alcohol but develop unwanted emotions, feel shameful the next day when you are sober.
If you find out any of the above symptoms to be true, you should start working on yourself.
You can either get out of this phase and restart your life or continue hating on yourself if you have made up your mind of not doing anything about self-loathing. We have penned down some solutions that can help you to get out of this pothole of self-hate.
How Do I Stop Hating Myself?
If you are keen to have a better future ahead, you should start working for it now. In the beginning, it may feel a little hard, but you will feel better eventually.
- Find out the reason why you hate yourself?
One cannot heal oneself without knowing the reason behind his sadness. You need to find the reason for self-loathing, the people who make you sad, or any situation that has stuck into your mind. Once you find out the reason, you can look forward to work on it and get rid of it quickly.
- Stop complaining, start accepting
The second step to get rid of self-hatred is to stop complaining about everything you do or happens to you and start accepting things the way they are. Stop hating your life as it is a beautiful god gift , make it worth living.
By this, I don’t mean to say that you should accept hate from your friends, family, or partner.
A person who hates himself tends to overthink every situation and this turns out to be very bad.
If you scored fewer marks in your class test, instead of crying over the low marks and giving, find out the ways to get better marks in the next test.
Crying over the spilled milk makes no sense! If you don’t have a bike that your colleague has, instead of questing yourself that why you don’t have that bike, start finding out the ways to own a better bike than him.
- Health is the wealth
Do you remember the last time you went to the gym? Or maybe you just don’t go to the gym at all and sit at home all day eating junk food.
The food you eat affects your health in a lot of ways, it can cause obesity, increase cholesterol, cause acne, and makes you fat.
Those who hate their life, don’t care much about their health and this can seriously have a great impact on your mental health which can alter the way you think about yourself.
It is not necessary that you have to join a gym to stay healthy, instead of joining a gym you can:
- Change your diet and remove all the junk food.
- Eat foods that increase stamina and endurance
- Do yoga at home
- Play outdoor games [ as it will help you to lose weight] and stay away from the gadgets for some time.
You can also start going for a morning walk and get some fresh air instead of sitting in your comfort zone. With this being said, the next solution is important.
- Get out of your comfort zone
So, you are sitting on your couch watching others posting the pictures of their achievements, trips, hiking, or anything else on social media. What are you doing then? Trapped in your comfort zone? You need to leave your teddy bear in the bed and step out of your 4-wall room and explore the world.
The person who stays in his comfort zone tends to hate himself more as he may get jealous of others achievement and starts questioning himself, “I feel like a loser”, “I can’t do this, I can’t do that, I think I hate myself”, “Why am I such A loser?”
If you are still in your comfort zone, it’s time to step up and change the game buddy!
- Start taking part in cultural activities in your school/college.
- Join an NGO and start working for others.
- Go for a walk in the nearby locality.
- Ask out your crush for a date (maybe she likes you too)
- Goodbye to Toxic People and Relationships
And it’s time to say goodbye to those who treat you poorly. If you have a friend who treats poorly, you should talk to him first and let him/her know that you don’t like the way you are being treated. If he or she understands you and apologizes, it is good but if the situation doesn’t change, just get rid of the person as quickly as you can.
Not only friends but if you are in a relationship where you don’t feel good. For instance, you are in a relationship where your partner talks to everyone nicely but doesn’t talk in the same manner with you. Maybe your partner is hanging out with everyone and gives excuses when you ask for some time.
There can be many possibilities where you can sense the way people are treating you, and it is always the right time to get rid of toxic people and toxic relationships as soon as possible.
If the toxic person is none other than your mom or dad, you can communicate less with them or reach out to your grandparents, and relatives and explain the situation. If you don’t have grandparents or relatives, you can make an effort and talk to your parents about the problems you have with them. In most of the cases this doesn’t work out but you can at least make an effort and see if things work out this way.
If nothing works out, the only way left is to reduce communication with them. You should focus on your studies, build a career and settle down as an independent person.
- Start Facing Challenges instead of running away
To achieve something, you need to start facing challenges. A person who hates himself fears to face new challenges in life. This is because of staying in the comfort zone for a long period of time and not having good health.
Once you keep your mind and body healthy, you will start facing challenges instead of running away from them, and you will tend to drop the thoughts of hating yourself eventually.
You can also ask someone for support, ask your close ones about your issues and the things they don’t like much in you.
The person who really cares about you will tell you the truth about you, and you can start working on to change yourself for the better.
Whether it is the academics, the school drama show, sports, or losing weight. Get out of your bed take a deep breath and start working on yourself. In the beginning, you will feel tired and anxious, but over time you will start admiring yourself and excel in the stuff you used to ignore.
- Ask for help
If none of the above solutions works out for you, I’d highly recommend you to visit a psychiatrist.
If the feeling of self-loathing has taken over your mind but you still have the courage to ask for help, you should reach out to someone you can trust.
In this case, parents are the ones who can listen to you without judging you but if you don’t have strong ties with your parents, you can talk to a friend and look out for a doctor who can help you to deal with the situation.
Wrap Up on I Hate Myself
The feeling of self-hate is not a small thing. It can lead to depression and can further affect the mental health of a person.
If you sense the above symptoms in someone you know or in yourself, taking quick actions will be fruitful.
Listening to good music, eating healthy and living a healthy lifestyle, hanging out with people who enjoy your company, participating in different activities reduces the negative thoughts from a person’s mind. One should quickly terminate anything that tries to harm his or her mental health. Whether it is the girl you love, your childhood friend or your bench mate, you should remove every toxic person in your life to stay happy.
Try to build up good relations with your parents, excel in studies and if you feel like you cannot do something, try to find out the solutions rather than sitting down in fear. A person can achieve a lot as soon as he gets out of his comfort zone.
With that being said, if you find out someone who seriously needs help, reach out to him instead of ignoring his situation. You can also take help from your elders to handle the situation in a better way.