SOME THINGS DON’T LAST FOREVER
The two souls, Alex and Lucy met each other at the college orientation. He was her senior.
Now they have been dating for 2 years and today is his birthday. She wanted to surprise him but who knew, this “affair” won’t last forever.
Shanaya went to buy Varun’s favourite mutton cutlet gravy and on her way back home, something left her shattered, broken and not at all what she expected.
She finds Varun…kissing another girl and that girl was none other than her sister. Her conscience told her, “he’s not the one”.
What is a love affair?
When we hear the word “Affair”, the first thing that comes to our mind, “betrayal or infidelity”.
You meet a stranger, find him/ her cute, start talking, and stalking, but there is no label to that bond or relationship.
Now everything has turned into a fight, the joint soulmate’s vibes are now breaking, the 4hrs talks have turned to 15 mins, and you get jealous without any reason. Either he’s busy or you’re, but not able to catch up with each other. These are some of the signs an affair is ending.
Well, if the one reading this has been going through this, then for either you or your partner, the flames are out!
Don’t get confused with the habits! It’s not that you’ve been with that person for too long but it’s just that the interest is not there anymore! And it’s time to cut it off before it becomes toxic for both of you.
Types of Affairs
Usually, an affair is considered to be a “physical affair”. But an affair also has different types. What you term an affair as is most important. An affair could be an emotional affair, love affair, cyber affair, etc.
This happens when a boy and a girl meet and desire to see each other often, spend a lot of time together and engage in a romantic relationship.
It’s kind of a special affair, where the two “just friends” share a common workplace with mental and emotional support and start feeling differently. This affair further develops into a mentally-sexual affair i.e. an affair but without sex.
The level of boundaries might shift and come too closer that finally it evolves and manifests into a sexual affair and maybe more than that.
As the word “cyber” suggests, it’s an online affair, where the two individuals are strangers. And all it starts with a simple “Hi” and gradually the number of hours spent on chatting with the person increases. Eventually, a feeling of emotional attachment and a mentally-sexual affair is carried out through texting, video calls, etc.
The Guide to end an affair
Walk and Talk
If you have been sure in your mind about ending your relationship, then don’t take much time hesitating what to do. Walk straight away and talk to your partner confessing your thoughts about ending it.
Explain your partner calmly that stretching the relation won’t help longer instead, it’s better to start with a new life. Keeping it up to you would be destroying both you and your partner’s life as the disinterest towards the relation would take you both nowhere.
Every relationship needs love and affection to hold steady, and once it lacks, it gives rise to arguments and misunderstandings. You may wonder how long do the affair last or it may get end by itself but the complications can arise in the middle if you keep it hidden.
Your partner may cry or shout but it will take time to accept the reality so let go the things by understanding their emotional trauma.
Block them from your life
The reason for ending your relation may vary. It may be due to you getting cheated or bad behaviour of your partner. Whatever it may be, it’s time to restrict them from your life completely.
Don’t respond to their text message and move far away from them. Being in touch with them can give them false hopes. You need to make yourself live without your partner and for that important to cut out them from every aspect of your life.
Start a new beginning and be active throughout your journey. Though sometimes you may miss your partner a lot and could not resist yourself but motivate yourself for a better future of yours.
So if you are wondering how to end an affair, then this might be the most necessary step for you. They may beg you or ask just to be friends but it would be better not to meet them personally no matter how much they request you.
Face the heartache
Every relation needs basic to run it, and if yours is lacking and gives the feeling of dissatisfaction, then its time to end it.
Your partner may harass or misbehave with you, but when the limit exceeds, you should get out of it by facing the heartache.
As said earlier, it won’t be easy to end your affair, but you need to do it for the sake of betterment. You have to be prepared and set up your mind that ending up may hurt you. You may cut off from everyone and want yourself to be alone but instead, try welcoming new peoples in your life and hangout.
Doing so will keep your mind diverted and help you to move on. Try not to overthink it and fill up your account with positive thoughts. The process may take some time but later, you won’t regret doing so.
Deal with it patiently
If you are wondering how to get over an affair, then these tips might be proved helpful for you. Your confession of ending up the relation can turn up into argument so be calm and patient while dealing with it.
Try ending it on a good note while explaining the floss calmly instead of putting allegations on each other.
Your partner may try to convince you but if you no, it would end up all the same then stick tight with your decision. One may lose temper while listening to it which can create a vast seen.
Try honesty is the best policy rule and make your partner understand the reason for making such a decision.
Stick to your decision
Your partner will try to convince you by manipulating your mind, but you need to stay active with your choice. Once you have decided in your account its time to execute it no matter how hard your partner tries to convince you.
Make in your mind that the ending up of the affair is for your betterment. If you change your decision, it may happen that the people supporting you from behind will leave.
It’s better to maintain your self-respect and come out of the hurting relation to see a better life ahead. Ending an affair would not be easy but you may feel satisfied with your decision on later stages.
Though all people don’t react the same, some may take it calmy and others can make your life ending up a hell. They can use your info against you or create a scene within your family so be sure with your plan while executing it.
Take the steps carefully
Your sudden reactions can turn into the worst action. Your partner might not accept the rejection suddenly and can behave oddly, which can create a big scene.
The anger and feeling of backstabbing can also lead to taking revenge on you. Try to choose a calm and private place to discuss the things but don’t be mercy upon him. Keep the conversation short and simple and end it there.
The more you explain the more significant the conversation will get stretch. Make sure you don’t look back no matter how much you feel bad. If you don’t feel safe or your partner is short-tempered its better to accompany a friend along with you.
If you are married, then make sure not to run with your commitments and responsibilities. From children to households, manage everything to avoid trouble for others. Things should not be used against you so think thrice before doing so.
Don’t fall on the trap
Wondering how an affair usually ends? The reason may vary from the behaviour of your partner or pressure from your family but the steps to complete an issue remain the same.
Your partner may emotionally blackmail you or wait for your re attempting while approaching for your weakness. He may threaten you of doing something wrong with him but you need to deal with it smartly.
Don’t allow the fear to overcome your decision to end the affair. If you are not happy in a relationship, stretching it unnecessarily will take it nowhere. It will raise your frustration making the things more worst.
Take the precautionary measures by informing his closed ones who can take care of your partner. You know your partner much better so assume their next step and be prepared accordingly.
Consider the flaws
The most challenging phase arises while ending an affair when you are in love. You get no reason to doing willingly but for the sake of betterment and situation, sometimes you need to back out from your love life.
It may sound like a nightmare to leave the one you love the most but you can do so by following the step which may give you a sign an affair is ending. If you are married and having an extramarital affair, then its time to go either way.
You need to complete the one side by confessing the truth. This can be done by assuming the flaws of your relationship and making it valid points to end the affair. Try bringing some real-life issues in your matter to stop the fantasy world and take the real test of how your partner reacts in the situation.
If you can see, they are not the ones you can imagine the rest of your life then its time to remove the guilt inside you and end the affair by stating the flaws.
You can also consider their bad habits which can be problematic in later stages and make up your mind for ending the relationship.
Erase the memories
Moving on is a crucial part of ending an affair. You need to erase all the memories and start fresh again. Force your brain to stop thinking about your partner 24*7 and start a new life. Stop being to places which remind of your partner and get rid of their belongings. Don’t be in contact over phone or text to overcome yourself from the affair. Ending a relationship becomes necessary especially when you or your partner are married. This can destroy many lives connected with the spouses and the children if any. You need to make a firm decision which should be suitable for all. Move on after an affair remains one of the essential steps amongst it.
Cut off yourself slowly
Going out from someone’s life could be a significant setback for them especially when they are used to you and have become an essential aspect of your life. Your partner may not imagine doing even a single thing without you so if you walk suddenly it can be traumatic for them. Instead, get rid of the habits slowly by cutting yourself from their life. It will make them habituated to live without you and they would not face many difficulties while being apart from you. They will start discovering new people and make a connection while being adjusted in their lifestyle without much existence.
Stop being caring
Stop showing your caring nature to your partner, although you may have a soft corner for him. This will take his interest out of you and give him the feeling that you don’t love anymore. If you keep showing interest, your partner will get attracted to you and will find it difficult to end an affair. This behaviour of yours may be rude but can help you complete the case. Being caring counts amongst essential steps in a relationship so lack of this would ultimately give your partner the feeling of dissatisfaction.
Shift your accommodation
The first and foremost definite step should start living separately if you are damn sure about ending your affair. Walk away and shift to a new place living all the old memories. Staying together will give rise to communications which would not be easy to end an affair. Yes, Of course, moving out and finding a new one from your comfortable stay won’t be easy but it could solve the quarrels between both.
How to end an affair? ( The Final Words)
Now that you have finally identified that he’s not your prince charming or she’s not your princess, you both have got different worlds, and that vibes don’t match anymore, just LET HIM/ HER GO. Even if you convince yourself that you want to be friends, give each other some time. Because really nobody can do that in that instance.
Our brain is used to patterns, and it follows patterns. So, if you have acted one way with the person, give your brain a break, it needs to identify that it doesn’t have to behave the same way with him. Let it breathe!
You can also do virtual healing on yourself, by imagining and blessing your ex-partner and the new person.
Also, happily cutting the cord with your ex-partner which was attached to you. And moving on!!!
How to move on after an affair?
Every approach will have a physical, social, spiritual, and emotional aspect. But mentally we can develop a positive outlook towards life. Focus on your hobbies, your career, and maybe if you are feeling a bit lonely, you can join some classes which you have been waiting for a long time. Get rid of the things that your partner liked, start spending quality time with your friends, family and most importantly get in touch with yourself.
Shanaya decided to take up a guitar class that she was passionate about. And hence she got a new group and got in touch with the new people. And gradually she was out from it.
Also, she started teaching the underprivileged students and with them, she learned the new perspective of life. As a fact, by helping others you get to heal yourself quickly.
There’s always something better as it is the rule of the universe, “if something is taken off from you, you’ll be given a hundred times better option” many better doors, options and opportunities are waiting for you.
Also, a soulmate who can probably be yours in the near future.