Questions to ask a cheater
Unfaithful is a better-chosen word for the bitter cheating husband or wife. It is one of the most difficult things to handle in a relationship.
While bidding a goodbye becomes the obvious solution, it is not easy to do.
It is a relationship and just breaking it is not easy, leaving without getting answers for your questions or leaving without knowing the causing reason behind it becomes impossible.
A mere ‘Yes, I have been having an affair for the last six months’ can not only crash the world around you but also bring a lot of questions in your mind – questions to ask after infidelity.
While your unfaithful spouse may not answer the uncountable questions, you can and must ask these Best 10 Questions For Your Unfaithful Partner.
1) Are You Able To Answer All My Questions With Honesty?
This is the most important question to ask after infidelity. Everything will have no meaning without this question.
There is no guarantee that a regular cheat or rather should say a person who is a pro at cheating will still be able to lie right on your face.
But, the chances are experts at lying will also be able to convince you that they weren’t cheating. This might be the case with few (given how not everyone is not a conman), most of the spouses who are caught cheating will not be able to look into your eyes while talking.
Deep down they will be ashamed of hurting you no matter what.
Thus this question becomes of utmost importance amongst the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse.
Asking your spouse, will they be able to answer all your questions with honesty or not will set the tone right.
Not only will they build the courage to speak only the truth and but also prepare themselves to be able to confess everything and be guilt-free once and for all. This question gives the other person a dare making them act accordingly.
But also, make you ready to accept the forthcoming bitter truth that might be most difficult to hear but build transparency in your relationship finally.
Answer: If the answer is yes, thank your spouse for finally putting the first brick of trust in their relationship. If the answer is no, then just simply turn around and run.
2) “Do You Feel Guilty” is also an important infidelity question
This question from the list of top 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse puts light on not just the character of your spouse but also the truth behind your relationship. It is a very important question to ask your cheating partner because the answer to this will tell you a few things:
- Whether your relationship was or is stronger than the other one.
- Is your spouse a good person?
- Is your spouse being honest?
- Despite everything, is there even a bit of love left in your spouse’s heart for you?
- Does your partner respect you and your relationship?
- Was your partner satisfied in your relationship?
Answering just one question will answer all the above questions at one go, which will give your heart and mind a lot of clarity that is much required at the moment.
A yes to this question will mean that your partner at least dares to speak up. It may be hurtful in the beginning but at least your partner respects you and your relationship which sparks a ray of hope.
While ‘No’ as an answer can mean that your spouse is not ready to accept or it may also mean that they are not sorry for their deed.
If not being sorry is the case then its a warning for you because it signals that your spouse hasn’t been satisfied in a relationship with you and rather suffers.
Answer: If your partner says yes, give him/her some time to explain giving them the notion that you are willing to listen. This builds understanding in a relationship and might save it from breaking.
Now if the answer is ‘No’, then make your heart stronger because the road down the next 8 questions is going to be more difficult for you and you need to be more prepared.
3) What Was The Cause Of The Affair?
The next question in the list of 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse will give you a base to whether or not to forgive your partner.
Though, forgiving your spouse has nothing to do with accepting your partner. But, the reason might erase the bitterness from your heart, at least to some extent.
It is always important to know both sides of the coin before giving a judgment. This is one of the important questions to ask your spouse after an affair
Just like you have your side of the story, your partner has a side of the story as well which not be as happening as it seems.
It just takes a change of perception to change the entire story. Listen to what they have to say patiently without showing rage or interrupting them.
One of the reasons behind the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse is to build more understanding in your breaking relationship. Getting an answer to this will give you a clearer picture of what happened and why?
Answer: Listen to whatever he/she has to say without panicking. Your reaction may make your spouse lie and twist the details. Be expressionless and listen as a third person.
4) What Was Different In Your New Relationship?
Your next question in this list would help you dig a little deeper about their relationship.
Be prepared because the questions on the list are not going to get any easier. The answer to this question might not be easy on the heart but will help you know and decide a few things.
First, this question helps you know what was missing in your relationship that you may need to work on if you are willing to continue with your spouse or even in your future relationships.
And second, the answer to this question will help you to a very large extent in deciding whether or not to give your partner a second chance.
Whether your partner is trustworthy enough to even deserve a second chance.
Answer: This is a kind of question that triggers the most emotional reaction which might b the most difficult to control but seal your lips and ask the next question when he/she finishes.
5) Do You Have Feelings For The Other Person?
We already warned you that the questions are only going to get difficult. Not to ask but hearing the answer might be really scary.
This question is more like a continuation to question number four of the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse.
An affair may happen for a lot of reasons, it could be a situation or a particular need or even a temporary attraction which is very human.
However evil it may sound, getting attracted to someone outside marriage happens to most of the people.
The difference lies in the ability to go out of the marriage or being unfaithful to give in to the attraction.
The important question is whether or not the feelings are involved. This is where the dynamics change.
Answer: The answer might be heart-breaking but many matured relationships do not work even after having feelings for the other person. So don’t break down just yet. If the answer comes in no, then the next question of the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse becomes all the more important to ask.
6) Did You Ever Plan Your Future With The Other Person?
This might not be a direct question but it makes a place in the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse for a reason.
Especially after the previous question of the list. There could be three reasons behind answering with a no to the previous question.
- Your spouse cannot confess/accept in front of you out of fear or guilt.
- Your spouse is not aware of his/her real feelings about the person yet.
- Your spouse is not lying.
The answer to this question will either confirm the answer to the previous question or reveal the reality.
Because, if the answer is yes to this question then even if your spouse did not have any feelings for the other person, they had a plan or at least wished to have a future together even for a moment.
If that is the case then even if given a chance, your spouse might not be happy.
Answer: Charge your spouse but softly without ruining the flow, only if there is a contradiction in the answers of question number 5 and 6 of the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse or else ask the next question.
7) Did You Ever Think About Me When With The Other Person?
The answer to this question will tell you whether or not your spouse has or had any feelings for you.
Question number seven of the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse is of importance because being unfaithful never prove that your partner is not in love with you.
Mid-life crises or situations may be responsible for a few things but, most people choose to be unfaithful instead of breaking the marriage is because they cannot leave their partner.
The reason could be anything from being scared of the society, being unsure, or guilty of breaking their partner’s heart.
If the reason in your case is number three then realize that your partner cares for you and your feeling, however wrong he may be.
Answer: This is the first question in the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse whose answer might make you happy. If the answer to the question comes in a yes then hold yourself because, despite the heart-breaking reality, you do or did mean something to your partner.
If the answer to the question is no then you must rethink your decision if at all you are planning to forgive and start afresh.
8) Are You Willing To Leave The Other Person?
The next in the list of 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse will prove a lot of answers to the previously asked questions right or wrong. It is very important because your partner’s desire is of the utmost importance in this situation. You are already on the backfoot, if you try to force your spouse to be loyal to you or leave the other person, things might only become more complicated and worse for you.
Answer: While yes to this question may make you happy, accept both yes and no with grace. But, if the answer to the question comes in No then the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse become eight for you.
9) Do You Want To Start Afresh With Me?
Just as the other questions in the list of 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse is important, this question mostly overlooked is of equal importance if not more.
Because the questions asked above will give you more clarity about your partner’s affair, may help you heal a bit from the heartbreak but also decide whether to forgive your spouse or not.
Most people on getting Yes as the answer to the above question, take it as an obvious fact that their spouse is willing to come back to them.
But, that may not be the case.
Your partner may not be willing to be with you anymore. Asking this question not only helps you to restart with confidence but also helps your partner think what they want and be finally out of the confusion.
Answer: If the answer to almost the last of 10 Questions To Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse No, thank your partner for all the honesty and prepare yourself to leave and if the answer is yes and if it matches your decision then its time to rejoice and reconcile.
10) Will You Be Fine To Take Professional Help To Heal Our Relationship?
The last question of the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse should be asked only if the answer to the previous question comes in Yes. This doesn’t change much of the dynamics but a yes will mean that your spouse is willing to try and make this work, which is very important.
Answer: You may choose to convince or let it be. But the answer to this question will show your partner’s intention and willingness for the relationship he/she has with you.
Conclusion on questions to ask your cheating spouse
Accepting a person may be difficult but love is what wins in a situation like these.
Do not forget to keep your mind calm to analyze every answer your partner says to come to a decision beneficial for you both.
While it is easier said than done, do not try to avoid the situation and be hurt. Come out with your feeling and communicate.